A Compassionate Guide to Pet Loss Grief and Healing
Author: Dr. Mary Perleoni, Ph.D., LMHC
Published December 13, 2025
About the author: Dr. Mary Perleoni, PhD, LMHC, NCC, is a licensed therapist and clinical leader at It Begins Within Therapy in Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Sarasota. She supports adults, teens, and families navigating grief, loss, and major life transitions.
When it comes to navigating the loss of a pet, one of the most vital things to understand is that your grief is real - and it matters. However, many pet owners never actually have a conversation with themselves (let alone others) about what losing a pet means to them individually. This article will explore what pet loss grief looks like, why it hurts so much, how to cope with losing a pet, and what steps you can take when you feel stuck.
What is pet loss grief, really?
In order to understand how to cope with the loss of a pet, first we need to have a better understanding of what we're actually experiencing. Most of the time when people talk about pet loss in a grief counseling session, what they're dealing with is something our society doesn't always validate - and that makes it harder. Because while we may not always consider it as such, grieving a pet is actually grief in its truest form.
In essence, pet loss grief consists of mourning the loss of a relationship that brought us unconditional love, daily routines, purpose, and companionship. This happens in a variety of ways - sometimes sudden, sometimes anticipated - but the pain is real regardless. When we focus solely on "getting over it" or replacing our pet quickly, roadblocks tend to occur. This can be because we're not truly allowing ourselves to feel what needs to be felt, or because the loss hasn't been properly acknowledged by those around us.
The truth is losing a pet after 15 years (or 5, or 1) leaves a hole in your life that deserves to be recognized.
Why does losing a pet hurt so much?
Exploring why pet loss is so painful helps us understand the feelings we're experiencing and validates that what we're going through makes sense. The loss of a dog or loss of any beloved pet requires acknowledgment - these weren't "just animals," they were family. Your grief reflects the depth of your bond.
The unique human-animal bond
Pets become woven into the fabric of our daily lives in ways that few other relationships match. They greet us at the door, sleep beside us, witness our worst days without judgment, and celebrate our best days with pure joy. For many of us, our dog was our best friend - the one who never criticized, never left, never stopped loving us.
The routines we built together - morning walks, feeding times, that spot on the couch you shared - these created neural pathways in our brains. Our bodies got used to their presence. So when they're suddenly gone, we feel it physically. The house feels empty after your dog died not because you're being dramatic, but because a real, tangible presence is missing.
Many people find themselves thinking "my dog died and I feel empty" - and that makes complete sense. You didn't just lose a pet; you lost a daily companion, a source of comfort, a being who knew you intimately.
The science behind why this hurts
Research shows that the bond between humans and their pets activates the same neural pathways involved in human attachment. When we lose a pet, our brains process it similarly to losing a close family member. The grief is neurologically real - it's not "less than" other types of grief just because the relationship was with an animal.
Losing a pet suddenly can add layers of trauma and shock to this already painful experience. Without time to prepare, our systems go into crisis mode. Even when we know death is coming, the actual moment still hurts.
Why society makes it harder
One of the most painful aspects of pet loss and grief isn't just the loss itself - it's the lack of support and understanding from others. Comments like "it was just a dog" or "you can get another one" minimize what you're experiencing. Some workplaces don't recognize pet bereavement as valid (though you absolutely can and should advocate for yourself when asking "can you take bereavement for a pet").
This societal dismissal can lead to what's called disenfranchised grief - grief that isn't socially acknowledged. It makes people feel like they need to hide their pain or "get over it" faster than they're ready to. That's not fair, and it's not accurate.
Understanding the grief process
When people ask about the stages of grief after losing a pet or stages of grief pet loss, they're looking for a roadmap. Reality is messier than that - but understanding common experiences can help you feel less alone.
Grief doesn't follow a straight line
You've probably heard about the "stages" of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. While these can be helpful frameworks, real grief rarely moves through them in order. You might feel acceptance one day and crushing sadness the next. You might experience anger and guilt simultaneously. That's normal.
The stages of grief after euthanasia can feel particularly complicated because there's often an added layer of guilt or second-guessing. "Did I do the right thing?" "Was it too soon - or too late?" These questions are part of processing the weight of that decision.
What grief actually looks like
In the first 24–72 hours after a pet dies, many people feel numb, disoriented, or panicked—and then guilty for not reacting “the right way.” Those responses are normal.
As time goes on, you might notice:
Waves of sadness that hit unexpectedly
Anger at the unfairness of their death or at yourself for perceived failures
Guilt, especially if you made the decision to euthanize
Physical symptoms: trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, exhaustion
Depression after loss of pet - a heavy, persistent sadness
Moments where you forget they're gone, then remember with fresh pain
If you're experiencing depression after death of pet that feels unmanageable - if you can't get out of bed, can't function in daily life, or have thoughts of harming yourself - that's when professional support becomes essential.
How long does pet grief last?
People often ask "how long does grieving a pet last" or "how long to grieve a pet" because they want an endpoint. Unfortunately, there isn't a standard timeline. For some people, the acute pain lessens after weeks or months. For others, especially after losing a pet after 15 years of daily companionship, the grief may surface in waves for years.
What matters isn't how long it takes - it's that you're allowing yourself to feel it rather than pushing it down.
How to cope with the loss of a pet and what can actually help
When you're searching for "how to cope with losing a pet", you're looking for concrete things you can do. Here's what actually helps, based on both research and the real experiences of people who've walked this path.
In the immediate aftermath
If you're in the raw, early days, here's what can help:
Allow yourself to feel it. You don't have to be strong or composed. Cry if you need to. Take time off work if you can. Honor what you're experiencing.
Keep some routines, but give yourself grace. The house feels empty after dog died partly because your routines are disrupted. You might still wake up at their feeding time, or reach for the leash before remembering. These moments hurt, but they're also part of processing.
Reach out for support. Talk to people who understand. If the people in your immediate circle are dismissive, seek out pet loss support groups (online or in-person). Connecting with others who've experienced grieving the loss of a pet can be incredibly validating.
Take care of your basic needs. Even when you don't feel like it: try to eat something, sleep when you can, move your body gently. Grief lives in our bodies, and physical self-care matters.
Healthy ways to cope with losing a pet
Create a memorial or ritual. This could be a photo album, a shadow box with their collar, planting a tree, making a donation to an animal shelter in their name - whatever feels meaningful to you. These acts help us process and honor the relationship.
Talk about them. Don't let others' discomfort silence you. Share stories, look at photos, say their name. Keeping their memory alive is healing.
Journal or write a letter. Sometimes putting words on paper - whether it's memories, things left unsaid, or just raw feelings - helps process what's inside.
Give yourself permission to not be okay. Our culture pushes us to "bounce back" quickly, but how to get over a dead pet isn't about rushing through. It's about integrating the loss and finding a way forward that honors what they meant to you.
When to seek professional support
If you're experiencing any of these, grief counseling can help:
Depression after loss of dog that interferes with daily functioning
Intrusive thoughts or inability to stop replaying their death
Feeling completely isolated or misunderstood
Complicated grief that feels "stuck" months later
Struggling with guilt or regret that you can't work through alone
There are therapists who specialize in pet loss and grief counseling in Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Sarasota, support is available. Seeking help isn't weakness - it's recognizing when you need support.
What doesn't help (and what to avoid)
"Just get another pet." While eventually opening your heart to another animal can be beautiful, rushing into it as a replacement rarely helps. Each relationship is unique. You're allowed to grieve the specific animal you lost.
Minimizing your feelings. Don't tell yourself it was "just a dog" or that you should be over it by now. That kind of self-criticism only prolongs pain.
Isolating completely. While you might need space, cutting yourself off from all support can make grief feel insurmountable.
Avoiding all reminders. While it might seem easier to pack up all their things immediately, many people find they regret this later. There's no rush.
When grief gets more complex
Not all pet loss happens the same way, and different circumstances bring different challenges. Let's talk about some of the more complex situations.
Grieving after euthanasia
Grieving the loss of a pet after euthanasia carries a unique weight. You had to make the decision. Even when it was absolutely the right choice - the merciful choice - guilt often shows up anyway.
The burden of being their advocate
How to cope with euthanizing a dog or how to cope with putting your dog down starts with understanding: you gave them the final gift of ending their suffering. That's love, even when it doesn't feel like it.
Many people replay the decision endlessly: "Was it too soon?" "Should I have tried one more treatment?" "Did they know I loved them?" These questions are part of grief after pet euthanasia, but they can become overwhelming.
What helps:
Remind yourself that you made the best decision you could with the information you had
Talk to your vet if you need reassurance about the choice
Consider a support group specifically for people grieving after euthanasia
Write down the reasons you made the decision, so you can revisit them when guilt surfaces
Things to do before putting your dog down
If you're reading this before the appointment, here are things that might help create closure:
Spend quality time together doing things they love (if they're able)
Take photos or videos
Give them their favorite treats
Tell them everything you want them to know
Consider having the procedure done at home if possible
Have a trusted friend or family member with you for support
How to say goodbye
People often search "how to say goodbye to your dog before euthanasia" or "putting my dog down tomorrow how do i say goodbye" because this moment feels impossible to navigate.
There's no perfect way to do this. What matters is being present with them. Tell them you love them. Thank them for the time you had. Let them know it's okay to go. Whether you stay in the room during the procedure is personal - there's no wrong choice.
Anticipatory grief
Anticipatory grief pet owners experience - that heavy feeling when you know your time together is limited - is its own form of suffering. You're grieving while they're still here, which can feel confusing and guilty-making.
Dealing with anticipatory grief
Pre grief or preemptive grief happens when we know loss is approaching. This might be because your pet has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, or because they're elderly and declining.
This type of grief can actually be helpful in some ways - it gives you time to prepare, to cherish remaining moments, to say goodbye gradually. But it's also exhausting, living with that knowledge day after day.
How to cope with anticipatory grief:
Make the most of the time you have without forcing false positivity
Do things they love while they still can
Take photos and videos
Start thinking about their end-of-life care preferences
Allow yourself to feel sad even while they're still here
Consider making a bucket list of experiences to share
Sudden pet loss
Losing a pet suddenly - whether from an accident, acute illness, or unexpected death - brings shock and trauma alongside grief. How to cope with losing a pet suddenly involves processing trauma as well as loss.
Sudden pet loss means:
No time to say goodbye
No preparation or mental readiness
Often unanswered questions about what happened
Potential trauma from witnessing their death or the circumstances
If you've experienced sudden pet loss, you might find yourself replaying what happened, feeling guilty about things you couldn't have predicted, or experiencing symptoms of trauma (flashbacks, hypervigilance, anxiety).
This kind of loss often requires additional support. Don't hesitate to seek trauma-informed grief counseling. Our therapists in Sarasota and throughout the Tampa Bay area understand how trauma and grief intersect.
Depression and complicated grief
Sometimes grief becomes more than sadness - it becomes clinical depression. Depression after losing a pet can manifest as:
Inability to function in daily life
Loss of interest in everything
Significant changes in sleep or appetite
Feeling hopeless or thinking life isn't worth living
Isolation from all relationships
If this describes your experience, please reach out to a mental health professional. Sadness after death of a dog or any pet is treatable, and you don't have to suffer through it alone. Depression therapy can help you work through both the grief and the clinical symptoms that may have developed.
How your other pets are grieving too
If you have other animals, you might be wondering if dogs know when another dog is no longer with us? Do dogs mourn? The answer is yes - and they need support too.
Understanding dog grief
Dogs absolutely experience grief when they lose a companion. Research and observation show that dogs recognize death and respond to it.
Signs of grief in dogs:
Changes in eating habits
Sleeping more or sleeping in the deceased pet's favorite spots
Searching for the missing companion
Whining, howling, or other vocalizations
Becoming clingy or, conversely, withdrawn
Loss of interest in play or walks
Acting confused or anxious
Do dogs get depressed when another dog dies? Yes, they can. Can dogs become depressed when another dog dies? Absolutely. Dog grieving symptoms look a lot like human grief symptoms.
How long do dogs grieve?
How long do dogs grieve loss of another dog varies. Some dogs bounce back within weeks, while others show signs of grief for months. Much depends on their personality and the nature of their relationship with the deceased pet.
Supporting your grieving dog
How to help a grieving dog:
Maintain routines. Dogs find comfort in predictability. Keep feeding times, walk schedules, and bedtime routines as consistent as possible.
Provide extra attention and comfort. Your dog might need more physical closeness right now. They're processing loss too.
Don't rush to add another pet. While getting a new companion might eventually help, doing it too quickly can add stress. Let your surviving pet adjust first.
Watch for concerning signs. If your dog stops eating for more than a day or two, seems lethargic for extended periods, or shows signs of illness, contact your vet. Sometimes medical issues can compound grief.
Engage them gently. Encourage light play and exercise, even if they're not enthusiastic. Movement helps both humans and dogs process grief.
Do dogs understand death of another dog? They understand something has changed, and they feel the absence. Whether they conceptualize "death" as we do is debatable, but they absolutely experience loss.
Moving forward
The goal isn't to "get over" your pet. The goal is to integrate their memory into your life in a way that honors them while allowing you to move forward.
What healing actually looks like
How to get over the loss of a dog or how to get over a pet dying are the wrong questions - because "getting over it" implies they didn't matter. They did matter. They still matter.
Healing looks more like:
The pain becoming less constant and overwhelming
Being able to think of them with more smiles than tears
Continuing your life while keeping their memory close
Eventually being able to consider loving another pet without feeling guilty
This is integration - weaving their memory into the ongoing story of your life rather than trying to erase them from it.
When grief feels stuck
Sometimes people experience what's called complicated grief - when the normal grief process gets stuck and doesn't naturally evolve over time. If months have passed and you're still struggling to function, if you can't move through daily life, if thinking about your pet brings the same crushing pain it did in the first days - that might be complicated grief.
How to deal with grief loss of pet when it feels stuck:
Seek grief counseling from someone who understands pet loss
Join a support group
Consider whether depression or trauma might be factors
Be patient with yourself while also taking active steps toward healing
Our Tampa therapy location and St. Petersburg therapy office both have therapists experienced in helping clients navigate complicated grief and pet loss.
The question of another pet
Eventually, you might start thinking about opening your heart to another animal. This brings up a lot of feelings:
"Am I betraying their memory?"
"Is it too soon?"
"What if I can't love another pet the same way?"
Every relationship is unique. Loving a new pet doesn't diminish what you had with your previous companion. It's not about replacement - it's about opening your heart to a new, different relationship.
There's no "right" timeline. Some people are ready within weeks. Others need years. Some choose not to have another pet, and that's valid too.
You'll know you're ready when:
You can think of your deceased pet without being overwhelmed
You have the emotional capacity to bond with a new animal
You're getting a pet for the right reasons (not to "fill a void" but to share love)
You feel excited, not just sad, at the prospect
Finding support and resources
You don't have to navigate this alone. Here are resources that can help:
Professional support
Pet loss grief counselors: Therapists who specialize in the human-animal bond and pet bereavement - available at our Tampa therapy, St. Petersburg therapy, and Sarasota therapy locations
General grief counselors: Mental health professionals who can help with complicated grief and depression
Support groups: Both online and in-person groups specifically for pet loss
Pet loss hotlines: Free crisis support when grief feels overwhelming
Workplace and social considerations
Can you use bereavement for a pet? The answer varies by workplace, but increasingly, employers are recognizing pet loss as legitimate. Don't be afraid to ask. If your workplace doesn't offer this, consider using personal time or explaining to your supervisor what you're experiencing.
Can you get bereavement for a pet? You absolutely should be able to, even if current policies don't explicitly cover it. Advocate for yourself.
Memorial and tribute ideas
Creating meaningful ways to honor your pet can be part of healing:
Physical memorials: Urns, cremation jewelry, custom portraits, paw print art, memorial stones for your garden
Living tributes: Planting a tree, donating to an animal shelter in their name, volunteering with rescue organizations
Personal rituals: Creating a memory book, writing their story, celebrating their birthday, lighting a candle on difficult anniversaries
Community sharing: Posting their story online (if that feels right), creating a social media memorial page, sharing photos with other pet lovers
These acts aren't about "moving on" - they're about keeping connection while processing loss.
At It Begins Within Healing Center, we understand the profound impact of pet loss. Our therapists in Sarasota, St. Petersburg and Tampa are here to support you through this journey. You don't have to navigate this alone.
Schedule a consultation to connect with who understands what you're going through.
