Discernment Counseling in
Tampa, St. Petersburg & Sarasota
Are you at a crossroads in your relationship and unsure whether to stay, separate or put the effort into rebuilding? The weight of uncertainty can feel overwhelming, leaving you drained and disconnected. We understand how challenging this moment and can be - our relationship counselors specialize in helping couples work through the discernment process, designed for couples in Tampa, Sarasota & St. Petersburg.
Who is Discernment Counseling For?
Discernment counseling is for couples who feel stuck between the weight of staying within the relationship or separation, including divorce.
It’s specifically designed for relationships where:
One partner is “leaning out”
One partner is desperate to save it
Or both partners feel confused, emotionally exhausted, and unsure what the “right” next step is
Rather than prematurely moving couples to “fix” the relationship, discernment counseling helps you reach the most critical decision - is this relationship worth repairing.
When We Recommend Discernment Counseling for Couples in Tampa, St. Petersburg & Sarasota
Discernment Counseling Is a Good Fit If:
You find yourself constantly wondering about leaving the relationship
One partner wants therapy and the other is resistant
There’s been infidelity and betrayal, emotional distance, resentment, or years of unresolved conflict
You don’t want to make a life-altering decision based on fear, anger, or exhaustion
You want a thoughtful, therapist-guided process instead of rushing into couples counseling or separation
You’re questioning if this relationship is worth rebuilding and repair, and want that certainty before starting the work
Discernment Counseling Is Not Traditional Couples Therapy
This approach is not about communication skills, conflict resolution, or compromise.
Instead, the objective of the 3-5 sessions of the Discernment Counseling Process is simply clarity.
In discernment therapy, each partner is supported in understanding:
Their own role in the relationship dynamic
What led to the current crossroads
Whether they are willing and emotionally able to work on the relationship
Only after clarity is reached do couples decide whether to:
Transition into full couples therapy
Pause the relationship
Or move toward separation with greater confidence and less regret
What is Discernment Counseling | Explained by Dr. Perleoni
“Unlike traditional couples counseling, discernment counseling helps you determine if and how your marriage or relationship can move forward. We provide a safe, non-judgmental space for couples across Tampa, St. Petersburg and Sarasota - If you’re considering separation but hesitant to commit to the decision, we’re here to guide you with compassion and expertise.”
Learn more in our guide for couples considering separation or divorce
Discernment Therapist Near Me
Julia Loewi, LCSW – Sarasota Discernment Therapist
Julia is a licensed couples therapist in Sarasota who specializes in discernment counseling for couples feeling uncertain about separation or divorce. She works thoughtfully with mixed-agenda couples—where one partner may be leaning out of the relationship—helping both individuals slow emotional reactivity and gain clarity without pressure or persuasion. Julia’s approach is structured, neutral, and emotionally grounded, creating space for honest reflection and informed decision-making.
Melissa Zentner, LMHC - st. petersburg therapist
Melissa is a discernment counselor in St. Petersburg who helps couples navigate high-conflict moments and uncertainty around divorce or separation. She brings a calm, structured presence to emotionally charged situations, supporting couples who feel stuck between staying and leaving. Melissa works frequently with couples and individuals who want clarity before making permanent decisions. Her approach emphasizes emotional regulation, insight, and intentional choice.
Kelly morrissey, lmft - tampa couples therapist
Kelly is a Tampa-based couples and divorce therapist who provides discernment counseling for partners facing difficult relationship decisions. She has extensive experience supporting couples who are uncertain about the future of their marriage and want clarity before pursuing separation or divorce. Kelly offers a neutral, thoughtful process that helps couples understand patterns, manage emotional intensity, and make values-aligned decisions.
When a relationship reaches a crossroads, making decisions in the middle of conflict or emotional overwhelm can feel impossible. Many couples in Tampa come to discernment counseling when one partner is leaning toward separation or divorce while the other feels unsure or hopeful for change. The pace and pressure of daily life—careers, parenting, and constant demands—often intensify uncertainty and emotional reactivity.
Our Tampa discernment counselors provide a structured, neutral process designed to slow things down and bring clarity. Discernment counseling is not about fixing the relationship or assigning blame—it’s about helping each partner understand what has led to this point and deciding, with intention, what direction makes the most sense moving forward. Whether that path leads toward reconciliation, separation, or divorce, our role is to support thoughtful, informed decision-making.
We work with individuals and couples across South Tampa, Hyde Park, Davis Islands, Westchase, Carrollwood, New Tampa, Brandon, Riverview, and surrounding areas who want clarity before taking the next step.
Couples in St. Petersburg often seek discernment counseling and divorce counselors when they feel stuck—caught between staying in a painful relationship and fearing regret if they leave. Many partners describe feeling emotionally disconnected, exhausted by repeated arguments, or uncertain whether traditional couples therapy is the right next move. Discernment counseling offers a different starting point.
Our St. Petersburg discernment counselors work with mixed-agenda couples, where one partner may be leaning out of the relationship. Sessions are structured to reduce emotional escalation, create space for honest reflection, and help each person understand their role in the relationship dynamic. The goal is clarity—not pressure—so decisions about separation or reconciliation are made thoughtfully rather than reactively.
We serve clients throughout Pinellas County, including St. Petersburg, Clearwater, Largo, Gulfport, Seminole, and nearby communities, offering both in-person and virtual discernment counseling options.
Discernment counseling in Sarasota is designed for couples who know something isn’t working but aren’t certain what should come next. Many individuals come feeling torn—wanting relief from ongoing tension while also wanting to avoid making a decision they may later regret. Discernment counseling creates a calm, intentional space to explore these questions without rushing toward an outcome.
Our Sarasota discernment therapists help couples slow down the emotional noise and examine how they arrived at this crossroads. The process supports each partner in gaining clarity about their desires, values, and readiness for change—whether that means committing to couples therapy, pursuing separation, or moving toward divorce. The focus remains on clarity, respect, and long-term well-being.
We work with couples throughout Sarasota and surrounding areas who are seeking guidance before making a life-altering relationship decision.
Signs You May Benefit from Discernment Counseling
Not sure if discernment counseling is right for you? Here are some signs it might help:
You’re stuck in repeated cycles of conflict and disconnection.
You’re considering divorce but aren’t ready to make a final call.
You feel emotionally drained in your marriage.
One of you wants to leave, while the other wants to stay.
Seeking a more rapid and Focused Approach?
Sometimes weekly counseling isn’t enough to deliver the clarity you need in the moment. Our Discernment Intensive Program offers a structured, day-long format designed to help couples facing divorce decisions gain deeper insight, clarity, and confidence in their next steps.
A Step-by-Step Guide to the Discernment Counseling Process
At It Begins Within, our discernment counseling process is clear, structured, and focused on helping you decide your path. Here’s what to expect:
Phase 1: Individual Reflection
Each partner meets separately with the therapist to share their concerns, hopes, and fears. This is your chance to be heard without judgment.
Phase 2: Gaining Clarity
Together and individually, you’ll work with the therapist to assess your relationship’s strengths, weaknesses, individual motives, level of investment in commitment to change, and behavior patterns. This phase is about understanding what’s possible.
Phase 3: Decision Making
After reflection and discussion, couples generally choose one of three paths:
Stay together as-is: Maintain the relationship without any immediate changes.
Move toward separation: Begin the process of separation or divorce with support and a clear plan.
Commit to rebuilding: Create and follow a plan to rebuild your marriage.
Session Structure
Typically lasting 3-5 sessions. It’s a focused journey toward decision-making. Our goal is to help you make an informed decision for you, your relationship and your family.
Why Choose IBW for Discernment Counseling?
When you’re facing relationship uncertainty, you deserve a team you can trust. Here’s why couples in Tampa Bay It Begins Within:
Expert Therapists: Led by Dr. Mary Perleoni, LMHC, our team specializes in couples counseling, trauma, attachment, and relationship transitions.
Non-Judgmental Approach: We don’t push you toward any outcome—just provide a safe space to process.
Convenient Access: Sessions available in Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, and virtually across Florida via telehealth.
Compassionate Guidance: Whether you choose reconciliation or separation, we help you move forward with confidence.
What Happens After Discernment Counseling?
After completing discernment counseling at, couples typically choose one of three paths
Maintaining the Status Quo. Some couples decide to continue their relationship as it is, opting not to make immediate changes. This choice allows for further reflection and consideration without committing to a specific course of action.
Pursuing Separation or Divorce. For couples who conclude that ending the marriage or relationship is the best option, discernment counseling provides a foundation for a more amicable separation. The process fosters clarity and understanding, which can lead to improved cooperation during the divorce and better co-parenting relationships post-divorce.
Committing to Reconciliation Through Couples Therapy. Couples who choose to work on their relationship may engage in structured couples therapy, typically committing to a dedicated period to address underlying issues and improve their partnership. During this time, discussions of divorce are set aside to focus fully on healing and growth within the marriage.
How Discernment Therapy Can Support Your Journey
Regardless of the path chosen post discernment counseling, ongoing support is available. Often the healing journey our clients take looks like:
Maintaining the status quo
Our Tampa & St. Petersburg clients who choose to give the relationship more time often pursue individual therapy, prioritizing improving themselves and how they process aspects of their relationship.
Pursuing Separation
When children are involved in the decision, couples often find significant benefit in family therapy for helping to ease the impact of the separation on the family, and define co-parenting approaches and strategies.
Committing to Reconciliation
Couples who decide they want to heal their relationship are strongly encouraged to transition to a more formal and structured form of couples therapy. If there is no change in behavior and actions, there will be no change in the outcome. Through therapy couples learn to improve communication, intimacy and appreciation for their spouse, leading to a more fulfilling and healthy relationship.
Discernment Counseling FAQs
Couples considering discernment counseling often have questions—especially when emotions are high and the future feels uncertain. Below are answers to the most common concerns we hear.
What happens if we decide to separate after discernment counseling?
If separation or divorce feels like the most appropriate next step, discernment counseling helps you reach that decision with clarity rather than reactivity. Our team can support individuals, couples, and families through the transition with individual therapy, co-parenting guidance, and referrals as needed—always focused on minimizing harm and supporting long-term well-being.
What if one of us wants to stay married and the other wants to leave?
This situation—often called a mixed-agenda relationship—is exactly what discernment counseling was designed for. The process respects both perspectives without pressuring either partner. Each person is given space to reflect, be heard, and gain clarity before any major decision is made.
What if I’m afraid of hurting my partner by being honest?
Many people come to discernment counseling feeling stuck between honesty and fear of causing pain. Your therapist will help you communicate openly and compassionately, balancing truth with care. The goal is not confrontation, but understanding—so decisions are made thoughtfully rather than through avoidance or emotional buildup.
Is discernment counseling the same as couples therapy?
No. Discernment counseling is a short-term, decision-focused process—not ongoing couples therapy. It is designed to help couples decide whether to pursue reconciliation through couples therapy, take a pause, or move toward separation or divorce. Traditional couples therapy focuses on repairing and strengthening the relationship and intimacy after both partners are committed to working on it.
How does discernment counseling help with divorce decisions?
Discernment counseling provides a structured, neutral space to explore what has led to this crossroads and what each partner truly wants moving forward. Rather than rushing into divorce—or staying stuck—it helps couples make informed, intentional decisions with greater clarity and less regret.
Can discernment counseling save my marriage?
Discernment counseling is not about saving or ending a marriage. It is about clarity. Some couples choose to pursue couples therapy afterward and rebuild their relationship. Others decide to separate in a way that feels more respectful and grounded. Both outcomes are considered valid and supported.
How long does the discernment counseling process take?
Most couples complete discernment counseling in 3–5 sessions, though this can vary based on individual needs and complexity. The process is intentionally time-limited to prevent prolonged uncertainty.
Is virtual discernment counseling available?
Yes. We offer virtual discernment counseling for couples throughout Florida. While in-person sessions are often recommended when possible, online sessions can still be effective and accessible—especially when logistics or distance are a concern.
Considering Therapy Treatment for Divorce? Schedule a Free Consultation Today.
If you are looking for discernment counseling in Tampa, the team at It Begins Within has helped hundreds of couples to find they clarity they are looking for. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward healing.